wedding bells
by shel
Summary: worries and concerns as that important event arrives...
1. morning jitters

**TWILIGHT**

** "Wedding Bells"**

by shel

© may 2007

_disclaimer__: bella, edward, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to stephenie meyer and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…_

_rating__: pg-13_

_summary__: worries and concerns as that important event arrives…_

_timeline__: one year after the events of "new moon" (pretend you never read chapter 1 of "eclipse")…_

_archive__: please don't without expressed permission…_

_notes__: my first (only?) fanfic for this wonderful series…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…_

* * *

_**Morning Jitters**_

"Oh, crap!" I heard his velvety chuckle as my hand was moved from where it lay covering my eyes. I tried tugging it back but it was frozen in his icy grip.

"Not my favorite way to be greeted in the morning, Bella."

But I heard the amusement in his warning and peeked at him. "If you're waking me up, then that means I overslept, and if I overslept, that means I missed Charlie leave. And if I missed Charlie leave, that means I couldn't tell him about --"

Edward's kiss interrupted my growing rant and knocked the breath right out of me. And then he had the nerve to chuckle as he pulled back and waited for my heart to start beating again. "Ah, love, I'm going to miss that."

He brushed some hair from my eyes and I muttered, "I hate it when you do that." And I did. It was still embarrassing the way he knew how his slightest touch could make my body react. I couldn't wait for that to change. He knew that too.

When he laughed again, I grabbed my pillow and hit him, sacrificing the few feathers that burst free in a loud poof. He couldn't keep a straight face and with a growl of my own, I pushed myself out of bed.

But I didn't expect the dizziness and, just as my knees buckled under me, I was caught in his solid arms.

"Bella!"

"I'm okay, Edward," I replied as I tried to keep my voice even and my legs steady. No need to tell him I'd already fainted three times in the past week when he wasn't with me. I wasn't about to reveal my surprise for him and his family of a chilled bottle of Bella's Blood. I mean, what's a wedding if the groom and his family can't participate in even a simple toast to the happy couple? And what better toast for vampires than with some of the bride's blood?

It's too bad that my little secret project hasn't gotten me over my queasiness regarding needles and blood. Given my impending change in diet, I'm hoping _that_ will change. I sighed and suddenly felt myself lifted into Edward's arms. "I'm okay, really," I repeated.

But he ignored me as usual. So I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment, nuzzling his arm with my cheek.

"Bella?"

"I'm okay," I assured him as I snuggled closer. I smiled realizing that, because he couldn't read my mind, I was probably the only person he knew who could actually pull off a surprise on him.

And for the thousandth time, I wonder if that ability will change once I am. From what I understand, excepting for the obvious, I shouldn't change all that much. So maybe it wouldn't be any different. But maybe it would. He did once say that he thought we were operating on two different wavelengths so what if being changed made things even more different between us. I shook my head free of those disturbing thoughts.

"I'm worried about you," he said, settling me on the mattress. He lightly caressed my cheek as he perched himself on the edge of the bed.

"Worried I'm gonna go through with it, you mean," I teased to lighten the moment.

He abruptly dropped his hand and sat up straight. "My condition," he curtly replied. "Marry me and I change you."

"You're still unhappy about it." He didn't speak and I was startled by the spark I saw in his eyes. "You think _I'm_ going to back out of the deal?"

"I know you'll go through with the ceremony, Bella," he rolled his eyes.

"I thought it's what you wanted," I commented with growing confusion. "You _wanted_ me to marry you." We would both get what we wanted. He would have me for a wife and I would have him as a vampire. He gave his word, he wouldn't back out. Unless… "Maybe _you're_ the one having second thoughts."

That old pain, that fault line in my chest, suddenly flared up. "Human moment," I gasped as I scrambled past him and, somehow managing not to trip on the way, made it in time to the bathroom, unintentionally slamming the door behind me.

"Bella!"

With nothing in my stomach, it was a case of dry heaves but I was left shaken just the same. I eventually slumped back against the tub, the porcelain cooling my neck. I knew Edward was anxiously waiting on the other side of the door but I didn't have the energy to move yet. "I'm okay," I called out, unsure if he would believe me.

A year later and I knew he still felt tremendously guilty over what I had gone through after he'd left me that day in the woods. A year later and my nightmares had faded but hadn't completely disappeared. At times it felt like a hazy memory but other times, other times found me being set off by the slightest inadvertent comment. I finally stood on shaky legs and made my way to the sink where I caught sight of my pale reflection. "I'm okay," I whispered.

"Are you sure?"

Of course he would hear me. I nodded in response before remembering that Edward didn't have the ability to see through walls. At least I didn't think so. "I'll be right out," I told him before I washed up.

When I finally opened the door, I headed straight for him and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. "I'm sorry…"

Edward buried his lips in the crook of my neck and murmured, "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too," I assured him, my voice muffled by the light jacket he wore. I inhaled his scent that permeated the fabric. Sated by the strength of his presence, I gazed up at him, touched his lips with my fingertips, and apologized again, "I'm sorry for worrying you."

"I didn't mean it the way you took it," he apologized, gently rubbing my arms as he stepped back. Almost impulsively, he brought his hand to my forehead as if checking for a fever.

"I'm not sick," I told him as I pulled his hand away but didn't release it.

"You have been paler than usual and you've hardly been sleep-talking." I smiled at his concern but that only caused him to frown. "That means you've been sleeping more deeply which means you're more tired than usual which means --"

This time, _I_ interrupted _his_ rant with a kiss. "You're sweet but I promise I'm not coming down with anything." Of course, I couldn't deny that I was thrilled to hear I hadn't been talking in my sleep. Last thing I wanted was to find out _I_ was the one to spill the beans about my surprise.

He guided me back to the bed where he sat and pulled me onto his lap. "Maybe we should postpone the wedding for a few more --"

My heart stopped and, for once, it had nothing to do with Edward's innate abilities to dazzle me. For him to be willing to postpone the wedding meant he was really worried. Feeling guilty, knowing it was _my_ fault I was paler and weaker than usual, I rested my head against his shoulder and brought his hand to my lips for a light kiss. "A deal's a deal and, three days from today, we _are_ going to become Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen."

"It's not too late to back out."

His voice was so soft I was barely sure I'd heard. I jerked back as much as I could, trapped in his grip. I stared at him, my lips quivering, but this time I managed to control the fear. I know Edward loves me and I know he wants forever. It's the _how_ of our relationship that we disagree upon. I want to become a vampire and he wants me to stay human. "Never," I declared, squeezing his hand. "I love you, Edward, and I want _forever_."

Slipping his hand free, he gently framed my face between his cold hands. "We will have forever," he softly agreed.

"Not if it's your way," I quietly argued, tears now stinging my eyes.

He brushed away some tears that spilled onto my cheeks, pausing a moment to stare at his glistening fingertips. "I won't be able to do this anymore."

"I won't have reason to cry," I stubbornly informed him.

"I'm serious, Bella." He slid me off his lap and stood. "Your life will change, irrevocably. All those human moments, all those important milestones…"

"I doubt I'll miss crying or throwing up or having nightmares."

He turned his back to me and stared out the window. "We've talked about this, Bella. You won't just be losing those negative aspects. How about the way you cry when you read your favorite romances? How about the way you blush at the slightest compliment? Or how about the way you tell me you love me when you're talking in your sleep?"

"So I'll daydream and mumble for you instead." I didn't move from my spot on the bed. We _had_ discussed this all before. I shrugged, "And I'll still have milestones. I _do_ plan on graduating from college, you know, and I'll still be getting married." He began to turn around and I hoped he would understand that I _was_ committed to him despite all my jitters about getting married. "And there's still nothing positive about tripping over my own two feet," I added with a smile, "nor about throwing up."

But he seemed almost pained instead. "Except if it was due to morning sickness." He met my gaze and added, "You won't ever become pregnant or experience any of the joys that go with motherhood."

I was surprised he'd voiced that concern. In all of our discussions about changing me, we'd always seemed to dance around that subject. And now that it was on the table, I had to be honest. "I never said I wanted to be a mother." That caught him off-guard. I stood and closed the distance between us.

"Edward, I spent most of my life taking care of my mom and me." I slid my arms around his waist and met his topaz gaze, "I love her so much but I'm not ready for the responsibility of raising someone else."

"Not now," he softly agreed, "when you're only nineteen. But what happens in ten years or fifteen or even twenty?"

"Ever heard of adoption?" But he wasn't amused, not that I could blame him. It's not like we'd really be able to adopt looking like the teenagers we physically would be forever. "I don't know what to tell you except I never really thought of myself as being someone's wife much less being someone's mother." I saw his jaw strain with tension and quickly added, "All I know is that I love you and I want to be with you and that means becoming what you are and sharing in your life."

He suddenly hugged me tight, so tight I couldn't breathe. "Isabella, do you know how precious you are to me?"

"I have an idea," I croaked.

Edward jumped back so quickly that I couldn't help but chuckle from his reaction. I tugged on his hand and indicated I wanted to be back on his lap. Thankfully, he obliged by sweeping me up into his arms and sitting in the rocking chair.

I snuggled closer for a contentedly silent few minutes before peeking and catching his reluctant smile. That slightly crooked smile that always made my heart skip a beat or two. "I love you oodles."

"Oodles?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Definitely," I giggled. I couldn't control a shiver that ran through me and I sighed happily.

And he was concerned all over again. "You need to eat," he ordered.

There must have been something in my eyes because he framed my face between his hands and grinned, "There will be time enough for that, love. Be patient."

I glared at him but sighed. After two plus years together, I _did_ know how far I could test his limits. And after the morning chat we'd just had, I knew this _wasn't_ one of those times.

He lowered one of his hands to hold my hand that wore his engagement ring. "If Carlisle had ever thought I might one day marry, he never would have had my mother buried with her rings."

He seemed so wistful and I wasn't sure what I should say. I pressed my cheek into his palm and closed my eyes as his thumb momentarily caressed my cheek.

"I don't have any memory of what the ring looked like but Carlisle assures me this is a pretty close copy."

"I _do_ love it, you know," I confessed as we both admired it. Given his unabashed joy in spending his money on me, I'd been afraid of what he'd buy me once I finally caved and agreed to marry him. But it was an old-fashioned setting and not ostentatious at all. On the other hand, I didn't want to think about what he'd paid to duplicate his mother's ring.

"I'm glad," he replied with a light kiss to my temple.

I heard the relief in his brief comment. Fully aware of my aversion to gifts, he'd been more than a little worried about my reaction. But like I'd told him when he'd slipped it on my finger, marriage hadn't ever been a high priority for me so I'd never been one of those girls to have the perfect ring picked out for years in my head. I glanced down at my ring and smiled. Both of us had worried for no reason. Like my angel, the ring _was_ perfect for me.

"Surprised you, didn't I?"

"Thought you couldn't read my mind." He was too smug for his own good but I kissed him anyway. We'll see who can surprise whom in three days.

With a sigh of his own, Edward pushed me off his lap. "Get dressed, Bella. I'll make you breakfast."

It was still disconcerting the way he could cook so well considering he couldn't taste any of the food. "Cold cereal's fine, you know."

"You need some protein," he countered. He stopped in the doorway and turned back to me, "Oh, Esme said that she and Renee will be going back to the florist for some last minute details so keep your cell on in case they have questions."

Despite her fears and lectures that I was too young to get married, Renee had certainly jumped into wedding preparations easily enough. My mother had been in town for two days and, under Esme's direction, was already conspiring madly with Alice about Barbie Bella's wedding day. I rolled my eyes as I met him in the doorway, "Poor Esme."

"Poor Renee," he chuckled. "Rosalie always micromanages her weddings and Alice only had the one wedding so you really don't understand how excited Esme is that you've let _her_ coordinate this little shindig."

"What shindig?" I gasped. "I thought we all agreed to a small ceremony in our meadow, just our families and the justice of the peace."

"Nothing for you to worry about, love," he grinned slyly as he pressed one last cool kiss to my forehead before disappearing with a whoosh down the hallway.

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	2. evening fears

_**Evening Fears**_

I declined the hors d'oeuvres a passing waiter offered. I was too excited to eat. Or maybe I was too nervous. Either way, the guests milling around the bar and few tables seemed to be enjoying themselves so I was happy.

"So, love, was it as horrible an event as you feared it would be?"

I shivered from the cool sweet voice suddenly whispering in my ear and pulled Edward's arms tighter around me. "You _know_ it wasn't." I leaned back against him and nodded to the tiny white lights decorating the tent's folds. "It's so beautiful."

"Credit goes to Esme and Renee," he acknowledged, rubbing his cheek next to mine. "I think it's even given Rosalie a few ideas for her next wedding."

I'd cringed through the plans made for a simple ceremony, which hadn't turned out to be so simple, and I couldn't imagine being so excited as to want to experience the entire process more than once. "How does Emmett manage?"

I felt Edward's grin when he replied, "Simple. He follows the _only_ instruction he has. Do nothing but show up."

I chuckled given that was almost exactly what _I_ had done for my own wedding. _My_ plan had been to marry Edward at twilight in our meadow. A simple ceremony surrounded by the natural beauty of the spot. But it seems that wasn't special enough for my mother or the female Cullens. Instead, the large white tent was rented and set at the edge of the woods, far enough from the house and yet not so far that I couldn't manage the walk in my heels and long dress.

And I _had_ managed. I couldn't help but feel proud that I hadn't tripped, or nearly tripped, even once when Charlie had escorted me from the house to Edward's side. I glanced down and smiled. I hadn't planned on a floor-length gown for the very reason of not wanting to injure myself at my own wedding. But when I'd spotted it, I knew it was the one.

Both Esme and Renee balked at the ice blue satin fabric but, for the first time in a shopping trip, I won the debate and left the store with the gown in my arms. From the color that wouldn't clash with my pale skin, to the princess style seams that made me seem a drop taller, to the long bell sleeves that kept me slightly warmer than those sleeveless numbers both Alice and Rosalie preferred, the dress was perfect for me.

"_You're_ the one who's beautiful," Edward whispered in my ear, "and even that does not do you justice. You truly take my breath away."

"As if you had any to be taken away," I teased, uncomfortable with the compliment. Despite my happiness with how I looked for once, surely he knew I still couldn't hold a candle to his beauty, nor to that of anyone in his family.

"Say cheese!" Alice ordered as she skipped by, pausing only a moment to snap our picture. Despite the professional photographer they'd hired, Alice had been behind her camera from the moment she showed up to help me get ready.

"She's very enthusiastic," I giggled.

"You know Alice loves a good party."

"To throw a good party, you mean." I scanned the tent again, at all the lights and flowers and guests I hadn't expected. I couldn't help but sigh happily. Angela and Ben were there, of course, as was Mike and his date. In addition to the few friends we'd made in college, quite a number of our high school class showed up. "I can't believe Lauren came."

"Are you kidding?" Edward snorted. "She and Jessica were counting on the pleasure of watching you trip down the aisle. Too bad they didn't go to Alice for a consult, she might've saved them the effort of coming."

"So Alice saw I wouldn't trip, huh. _That's_ something you might've shared with me," I lightly slapped his arm.

"And deprived you of your moment of glory?"

"All right, you did good," I laughed. But my heart fell for just a moment when I suddenly focused on the one person who _wasn't_ present, the one person I'd wanted most to attend. Jake. Despite all my pleas, he had refused to come.

Sensing my change in mood, Edward kissed my temple with the lightest of touches. "Vampires and werewolves were not meant to be friends," he sympathetically reminded me in a quiet voice. "Quite the opposite, in fact."

"I know," I whispered, "but still…"

"They _are_ here, Bella."

I jerked in his arms but he held me in place as he quietly informed me, "We smelled them arrive shortly before the ceremony. I know Jacob Black is among them."

"But why --"

"He won't interfere with your choice," Edward interrupted. "I heard his thoughts, Bella. He's not happy at all but he understands it's _your_ choice. The fact they're present isn't surprising. We fully expected them to stand watch."

"Watch for what?" But I answered my own question, "The treaty. Jake knows the main reason I'm marrying you is so that you'll change me so they're expecting you to break the treaty tonight. But, come on, don't they realize you'd never change me in public, at our own wedding?"

"They wouldn't put it past me. Vampire, remember?"

I sighed at the additional reminder of the incompatibility of vampires and werewolves. "He should know better. He should know _me_ better."

"Still, when it's done, we'll be hidden deep in the woods of Long Island's Wildlife Refuge," Edward murmured, kissing the tip of my ear, "far enough away from their watchful eyes while you get your first taste of elk and grizzly."

Smugness was creeping into his voice so I poked his rock-hard chest with my elbow. He chuckled and lightly rubbed my elbow when I groaned. "And just so you know, I was never afraid," I told him, reminding him of his earlier question.

He turned me in his arms and gazed at me, knowing full well I couldn't think straight when he did that. "Is that why it took _six_ months and _seven_ proposals before you finally consented to become my wife?"

"Seven's a lucky number," I stuttered before giving into my impulse and throwing my arms around his neck and firmly kissing him. Emmett's whooping in the background, however, caused me to freeze and bury my face in Edward's chest.

"I _will_ miss this," he murmured in amusement as he kissed the top of my head.

I pulled back slightly and complained, "With my luck, I'll be the only vampire in the world who can still blush and trip over her own two feet, at the same time."

"We have faith in you!" Emmett called out from the other side of the tent.

We both turned to find all of Edward's siblings laughing which only caused my blush to deepen.

Grinning himself, Edward took my hand and led me to the center of the tent. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I warily replied. He knew I was nervous about dancing with him, despite the fact that we'd been practicing for three weeks. I knew the steps but combining them with my long dress? "A sure disaster waiting to happen."

"I have faith in you." His statement echoed Emmett's tease but his was filled with such sweet tenderness, my legs nearly melted along with my heart. I leaned into him for support and he caressed my cheek with his free hand. "My Bella," he murmured as his fingers lingered on the petals of one of the flowers pinned to my loose hair, "my beautiful wife…"

I gripped his fingers tightly when I recognized the beautiful melody the band now began playing. "My lullaby…" I smiled up at him, tears threatening to fall. But before I knew it, he'd swept me away in his arms, circling the makeshift dance floor as if I'd been born to dance.

All I heard was the music, music he had written just for me. All I saw was Edward. And time stopped as we disregarded the proper dance moves and simply held each other close, swaying slightly to and fro. It was as if we were the only two people existing in the world.

The love I saw in his eyes brought more tears to mine. And when his icy lips kissed those tears away, it took all my willpower not to beg him to bite me right then and there.

"Just kiss already!"

Edward didn't hesitate to obey Emmett's whine. But he was shaking as he pulled away and I realized I wasn't the only one struggling with willpower. "I love you," he told me with such quiet intensity.

My pounding heart threatened to skip a few more beats. All I could do was wrap my arms tightly around him and press myself close, hoping it wouldn't further test his limits. "I love you too," I whispered, "more than you can know."

We ignored Emmett's whoop of joy and the change of music to a faster tempo. We ignored the crowding dance floor and pats on the shoulders from our guests. We tried to lose ourselves again to that moment but I think our need was growing too strong and I let Edward lead me outside the tent.

I took a couple of deep breaths from the crisp evening air. Through the tent's doorway, we watched the guests twisting to classic rock-and-roll music and I leaned back into Edward's embrace. I tugged his arms tighter around me. "Thank you, Edward, for this beautiful night. It was everything you promised it would be."

"The night isn't over yet, love," he quietly commented. And after a moment's hesitation, he asked, "Are you ready for your goodbyes?"

"It's hard," I admitted. "I love my parents so much but," I turned to face him, "I want this. I want this so badly."

Just then, Charlie interrupted, "Bells, the band's due for a break. Why don't you and Edward come inside for the toasts? You can cut the cake and then we'll have another round of dancing."

Toast! I'd nearly forgotten. "That's a great idea," I enthused as I pushed Edward towards my dad. "I'll be right back!" I called out as I lifted my hem and hurried towards the house.

"Be careful!"

If the fear weren't warranted, I might've been insulted at the way both Edward and Charlie yelled the same warning. Still, this was _my_ wedding, the one occasion where everything should go _my_ way, and there was no way I was going to ruin it with my talent for clumsiness.

My special "wine" bottle in hand, I made it back to the tent in one piece. To my surprise, Carlisle was at the doorway. "Anything wrong?" I heard a soft melody coming from inside the tent and I spied a few couples slow dancing. If I hadn't been worried by Carlisle's presence, I might've worried about having spotted my dad watching Renee and Phil on the dance floor. He certainly wasn't used to seeing my mother and her second husband together in a romantic way.

"Everything's fine," Carlisle assured me with a distracting smile. "Rosalie's just gone to check on the cars to make sure they're ready for later."

I shivered at the thought of the plan to fake a car accident for us. Leave it to Emmett and Edward to come up with the explosive idea. But despite everyone's reassurances about it being a good plan, the perfect plan, to cover the fact that I was severing my family and friend ties by becoming a vampire, I was still afraid something would go wrong.

Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder and barely gave it a squeeze, "You know what good drivers Alice and Edward are. No one will be hurt. Now why don't you go in there, Charlie's waiting to make the first toast."

"Then you'd better get your family together so you can all join in," I grinned and handed him the bottle.

"What's this?" But his curious smile seemed to freeze as he inspected the label I'd pasted to the bottle.

"Carlisle?"

"Oh, Bella, what have you done?"

I shrugged, unsure why he seemed so sad. "I wanted you all to be able to share in at least a toast. I don't understand. Is the blood spoiled? I kept it refrigerated."

"I'm sorry, Bella, but we can't drink this." He handed me back the bottle and patiently explained, "Except for the rare slip, we've gone without human blood for decades. This would be so sweet, so pure, I'm afraid that one toast wouldn't be enough. And with all the guests on hand, not to mention werewolves watching, it would be too dangerous."

"Oh." My eyes filled with tears as I admitted, "I hadn't thought about it like that. Edward once likened it to being an alcoholic or a drug abuser. I'm…I'm so sorry, Carlisle. I wasn't thinking. I --"

"You wanted to do something special for us," he quickly acknowledged with a sad smile. "Knowing how poorly you react to blood, you were so brave to take it yourself, all alone. What you wanted to do for us was so --"

"Stupid," I angrily interrupted. "It was so stupid."

"No," he insisted, cupping my chin in his hand. "No, Bella. It wasn't stupid at all. It was brave and thoughtful and a beautiful gesture and --"

But I couldn't listen anymore and spun from his grip. "I'll get rid of this, I'll, I'll be right back." And then I broke into a run, ignoring his calls to me, trying not to think of the way he was probably already mentally alerting Edward to just how stupid I could be.

* * *

My tears were flowing just as easily as the blood was flowing from the bottle into the toilet bowl. Given his mind-reading abilities and speed, I was surprised that Edward wasn't yet at my side. But I was also grateful because I could still wallow in my stupidity in private. If he was as smart as I knew him to be, he was probably figuring out how to gracefully back out of our newly wedded status. Why would anyone like him want to be stuck for eternity with someone as dumb as me? 

"Mmmm, such a sweet aroma…"

I froze and didn't turn around to face the vampire whose voice I recognized. "Victoria…"

"It seems a shame for you to waste it." The bottle was whipped from my hand before I could even blink. "Could it be _this_ is what he actually sees in you? This rich sweetness?"

I turned to find her wiping off the drips with one long manicured finger. Victoria had been after me ever since Edward killed James, her mate, two years ago during an attempt to kill me. I didn't stand a chance against her. I winced while she enjoyed licking the blood off her fingertip, knowing she was already anticipating the taste of _fresh_ blood.

"Perhaps I ought to keep you as a pet of my own," she considered. "It could be worth not killing you outright if I could make you last by sipping that sweet blood flowing through your veins."

"You couldn't." As I'd recently been reminded, there was no way Victoria could maintain control and limit herself to _only_ a few sips. I also realized she didn't intend to bite me, thereby killing me with her poisonous venom, but would find a means to take my blood. And knowing Victoria, it would probably involve a lot more pain than the method I'd used.

"I could," she snapped as if I'd insulted her. "But," she suddenly released the bottle and let it drop to the tile floor, "it wouldn't be nearly as much fun."

I didn't have time to react before she backhanded me into the wall. Dazed, I looked up to find Victoria leaning over me. And she didn't seem in the mood to toy with her food as James had been. I squeezed my eyes shut in preparation for her kill but I felt a sudden breeze and opened my eyes to find myself alone in the bathroom. I recognized the angry voice I heard threatening her. "Edward…"

There was a crash of wood and I crawled to the doorway in time to see both Edward and Victoria caught in each other's grip, snarling, as they wrestled on the floor of my bedroom. Splintered wood from my broken door was kicked out into the hallway and I was able to duck back into the bathroom to avoid being hit by a flying piece.

But the sound of shattering glass caused me to scramble to my feet. Tripping over the hem of my dress, I managed to reach what was left of my window without getting cut on any of the cracked shards. Edward and Victoria were fighting on the ground, seemingly oblivious to the fact that they had just fallen out a second story window. I turned to leave, to get outside and warn the guests, if they hadn't already heard the disturbance, when my long hair was grabbed. I yelped in pain as I was yanked back into the room.

"Not so fast," Victoria hissed in my ear.

But it was. It all happened so fast. From Esme, Rosalie, and Alice suddenly appearing in front of me, to the searing pain in my throat, to hearing more shattering glass and Jasper and Emmett shouting outside, to Edward's velvety voice screaming my name.

All hell seemed to break loose and I was barely aware of any of it. Time seemed to stop once again, only this wasn't any dream come true, this was a nightmare.

Something pinned me down and I frantically grabbed at my neck, horrified to smell and feel the blood pouring between my fingers. Victoria's razor-sharp fingernails must have sliced through my skin. Where was she? Or was she the one holding me down?

"Don't try to speak, Bella," Esme cautioned before turning to Alice. "Grab a towel, we have to try to stop the flow. And then go with Rose outside and calm the guests until Jasper can join you. And keep Bella's parents away! Steady, Edward, try holding your breath."

So it wasn't Victoria holding me. But the blood was flowing too heavily and, even with Edward having fed yesterday, he wouldn't be able to fight temptation much longer. I tried pushing him away but my arm wouldn't move. "Ed…ward…" Blood gurgled from my throat and I choked, setting off a violent coughing fit, which only led to more blood flow.

I tried to reach out for him, for anyone, but they all seemed so far away.

"It has to be now, son."

So Carlisle was here too. I tried to focus on his instructions but the edges of my vision were darkening and closing in on me too quickly. Their voices, assurances, now all seemed muffled or under water.

And it all turned quiet until Edward's pleading to me was the only voice I heard. Until the screaming started.

And then, mercifully, everything went black.

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	3. afternoon concerns

_**Afternoon Concerns**_

I thought I heard voices. If I strained, I could almost make out a word or two. But I was afraid to speak, afraid to even open my eyes. What if it wasn't over? It felt safer in the quiet dark.

But I needed Edward, needed to know he was okay. I needed to know that our families were okay, that Victoria hadn't hurt any of them. It was only me she'd wanted to kill but I wouldn't have put it past her to hurt anyone I'd cared about. And I wasn't sure I could live with myself if any of them had been hurt of killed because of me.

My eyelids felt so heavy but I managed to open them. It was very bright and I squinted, taking a moment to focus. But I had no trouble recognizing the sole person standing near the window. "Edward." His name came out a harsh whisper and my throat burned from speaking the single word.

He was by my side in an instant, taking my hand in his. "Bella." I heard the relief in his tone but he was hushing me before I could say another word. He brushed some hair from my eyes and promised I would be fine.

But I wasn't sure if that promise was more for me or for him. "Victoria?" Why did my throat burn so badly?

"Dead."

It was very rare that Edward let me see his dangerous side but, in that simple statement, I saw enough to make me shiver.

He quickly gathered me into his arms and I tried to speak again but he cautioned me against it. "Wait for Carlisle."

"Burns…" I needed something cool for my throat. And I needed answers. Tucked tightly against Edward's chest as he rocked me gently, all I could tell was that I wasn't in any hospital bed so Carlisle must have been able to stitch me up. But where was I and were my parents okay? What about Edward's family? Had they come through Victoria's attack intact? I tried to move but, as always, Edward didn't give me an inch.

It was hard not to shiver from his cool breath whispering in my ear. "I know you have questions and we'll help you through the pain. Try to be a little more patient, sweetheart."

He eased back and I suddenly realized we were lying on Edward's new bed, _our_ new bed. I closed my eyes and smiled at the memory of us shopping for mattresses. After nearly a hundred years of not requiring a bed due to a vampire's inability to sleep, he'd gone overboard with trying to find the perfect one. I felt his lips in my hair and opened my eyes.

"You're sparkling," I croaked as the rare sunny Forks rays cast a kaleidoscope of colors on the walls. I couldn't help but smile. But then…then I realized Edward wasn't the only one sparkling and I really began to struggle in his arms.

"Shhh, love, it's okay."

He tried to calm me but it only made me panic more. My skin was sparkling like Edward's! I'd been changed! _I'd_ been the one screaming! I was a vampire! I looked at Edward, my mouth open in a silent scream. This was what I'd wanted but it didn't feel right.

It didn't happen the way I'd wanted. I'd known it wouldn't be pleasant or romantic in the slightest but I'd so badly wanted _Edward_ to be the one to change me. And Victoria took it all away. A few pink tears trickled down my cheeks and I gasped in surprise. How could I be crying?

"It will take time for all the fluids to leave your body and be replaced by the blood from your hunts," Edward quietly explained as he tightened his embrace. "It's okay, Bella, everything will be okay."

But darkness claimed me before I could ask him about any of it.

* * *

When I opened my eyes, I found Edward still at my side, my hand held between his two. "Thirsty…" I rasped. 

"It's too soon for you to hunt," he somberly replied.

"Have to eventually." This was what I'd wanted, I reminded myself. Even if it wasn't _how_ I'd wanted it, it _was_ what I'd wanted. I just wished he didn't seem so upset, so regretful. I weaved my fingers through his messy hair. His eyes were dark. "_You_ need to hunt. Perfect opportunity."

Had to stop talking, my throat was still burning. I struggled to sit up. I couldn't believe how weak I felt. I thought I was supposed to be so strong now.

"You've been through an ordeal," Edward told me as he helped shift me to a seated position. "It will take some time to build your strength."

I looked sharply at him. Could he read my mind now? What other changes happened while I was out? "How long?"

He shrugged. "It varies with each vampire. Emmett was ready from the moment he was --"

"No," I shook my head interrupting while still noting that, evidently, he _couldn't_ read my mind, "how long have I been out? What happened? My parents? I heard voices."

"Slow down," he suggested as I began working myself into another panic attack. He caressed my cheek with the back of his hand, "There will be plenty of time for answers. For right now, try this."

Suddenly he was presenting me with a tall glass and straw and instructing, "Sip slowly."

I eyed the red liquid and wrinkled my nose. It didn't smell as enticing as I thought it should. At least I wasn't about to faint from the smell. So maybe I _was_ changed for the better.

"Animal's blood. It's not the freshest but it will tide you over for a little while."

I started sipping but shortly began gulping greedily, more grateful for the way it coolly soothed my throat than for the way it tasted. In fact, it tasted a little too salty for me and I wrinkled my nose again as I handed back the glass.

"Mountain lion," Edward informed me. "Maybe you'll like grizzly better."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "More?" I hesitantly questioned.

He nearly smiled. "Esme's bringing it."

"I need to know," I told him, my throat no longer as sore. I moved to the edge of the bed but my legs weren't able to support me when I stood and I practically fell back into Edward's lap.

"You amaze me," he shook his head.

"With my stupidity, clumsiness, inabi--"

"With your strength," he interrupted, "your control." He shifted me so I was once again leaning back against the pillows. Bringing the covers over me, he added, "Carlisle hadn't ever seen anyone change like you." He quickly put a finger to my lips to keep me from speaking. "You screamed in agony but only for a few hours at a time and only for the first day and a half. Since then you would moan on occasion but even that eased off into whimpers as more time had passed." Before I could speak, he clarified, "It was as if you were trying to maintain some sort of control over your transformation. We were all in awe."

"I told you once that I had this knack for repressing bad things," I whispered, unsure if this was a good thing or not.

Edward traced my chin with his finger, "Your mind is very strong. That's probably why I can't read it, why Jane's power didn't work on you, why --"

"Why I let myself fall into oblivion when you left me last fall? Sorry," I quickly apologized, "didn't mean to bring it up."

Just then, Esme entered the room, carrying a tray with several more tall glasses of blood. "Bella, why don't you have a little more to drink and then rest for a while? There will be plenty of time for conversation later."

I gratefully accepted another glass, downed the contents in record time, and quickly repeated with another glass. And then I apologized for being rude. Esme looked only slightly better than Edward. "Maybe you should have some too."

Esme smiled, "Carlisle and I will go hunting after Jasper and Alice return from their hunt."

"Taking shifts watching the newbie?" I questioned before grabbing another two glasses. "I like it better now," I realized. "Maybe lion's growing on me."

Esme set the tray on the end table and kissed the top of my head as I slurped the last drops of one glass. "Try to get some rest," she suggested before she nodded ever so slightly to Edward and left us alone.

"What'd she say, I mean think?" I asked him as he took my empty glass and set it on the tray with the others. He handed me the last glass as I was already finishing off that second glass I'd been holding. And as I began drinking from the last glass, I decided to sip the blood and make it last a longer. "Do I even want to know how you managed to get this for me?"

"Rosalie and Emmett took care of it while they hunted." He caressed my cheek as I sipped. "That you are still you amazes me."

"You said that before," I teased before shrugging. "I thought that's what's supposed to happen, that we remain essentially who we were before we were changed."

"Not all vampires handle the change as calmly, as rationally," Edward commented as I handed him the empty glass.

"I may look calm but I've got a million questions running through my head right now," I warned as I glimpsed what was left of my snack in the last glass, "not to mention that I'm more than a bit nervous about learning to hunt. Maybe I could just continue like this, you know, glass and straw?"

"Another reason to be in awe," he shook his head. "Any other newborn vampire would already be out of her mind with thirst yet you lie here acting as if you're receiving hotel room service."

"I am, in a way." I tried to smile but knew it was too serious a matter to pass off as a joke. "I _am_ scared," I whispered.

"As am I," he confided. "By all precedence, you shouldn't be able to have a lucid conversation with me a mere three days after turning."

My mouth dropped in surprise that only three days had passed. It seemed like I'd lost so much more time. My voice cracked slightly as I spoke, "Are you okay?"

"You _would_ be worried about someone else instead of yourself." But his eyes turned tender and he promised, "The deed is done and we will get through the adjustments together."

"That's not what I asked, Edward," I told him as I reached for his hand with my free one. "I don't seem to have any memory past Victoria's attack in my bedroom. But _you_ do and I know it will be with you forever."

He brought our hands to his lips where he lightly kissed my knuckles. "A small price to pay for not losing you. Now, listen to your husband and close your eyes."

I glared at the now-empty glass I still held. "Not until I get some more answers. Now, I'm guessing if everyone's been hunting, Victoria didn't hurt any of your family."

"She wasn't given the chance," he said through gritted teeth.

"What about my parents?" He seemed reluctant to answer and I would've dropped the glass as I shot forward had Edward not taken it from me first. "Did she hurt them, Edward? Are they dead?"

"No," he quickly assured me, "no, sweetheart, Charlie and Renee are fine. Well, physically they're fine. Emotionally, however…"

"Thank God," I uttered with relief as I sank back into the pillows. And then I realized what his added comment meant.

"They think I'm dead." My heart may not be beating but it ached with the thought of what my parents had suffered. I'd known my plan to be changed would hurt them but being faced with that reality was a different matter entirely.

"Close your eyes," he requested as my eyes welled with tears, "and I'll fill you in on the rest later."

I squeezed my eyes shut but argued, "I want to hear it _now_."

He sighed and I patted the spot on the mattress next to me. Edward stretched out and wrapped his arms around me. I nuzzled his chest with my nose and he kissed the top of my head.

And then he revealed that Victoria had nearly made it back to the tent but was stopped in time by the pack of werewolves. They'd chased her deep into the woods but she'd stood her ground, injuring one when she threw him into a tree.

"Jake?" I gasped.

"No," Edward quickly replied, though more out of concern for my reaction than concern for Jake. "The one named Embry. He'll survive, though not without disfigurement and a noticeable limp. From what I understand, his leg was badly mangled."

I'd liked Embry a lot but I'd be lying if I wasn't relieved that it wasn't Jake who'd been hurt. "What happened?"

"Jasper and Emmett arrived on the scene and lent a hand in restraining her." Edward's eyes darkened even more as he continued, "She nearly took out Emmett's eye which only further enraged him. He demanded to handle her alone."

"No," I gasped.

He rubbed my arm and kissed the top of my head. "The dogs realized my brothers had the situation well in hand and stepped back to watch them tear her to pieces."

"I'm glad she's dead," I uttered with overwhelming relief. Never again would I have to fear her coming after me or anyone I loved. But then I remembered, "The treaty! It was broken when Victoria bit me! Are they coming for us now?"

Edward settled me back in his arms and calmly explained, "Firstly, Victoria never bit you. She had lacerated your throat with her fingernails. You were bleeding out and the only way to save you…"

I gazed into his eyes and smiled at the revelation that Edward had changed me after all. Then I frowned, "The treaty was still broken. The Quileute will come after you. It's not safe here!"

"Your friend Jacob _did_ assist in convincing his pack that Victoria had been _our_ enemy too and that we were not to be held responsible for her deadly actions towards you." He brushed some hair from my eyes, "It's being considered a special mitigating circumstance and --"

"And they think _she_ was the one who bit me," I interrupted.

Edward nodded, "I saw no sense in correcting them. Of course, we've still been ordered to leave the area, to ensure no other innocents are caught in the middle of any altercations we might have with other enemies of ours."

"The Volturri," I shivered.

"They are not exactly our enemy, Bella," he rubbed my arm again, "but the point is moot as you _have_ been changed and they will have no need to check on us, at least not for the foreseeable future."

I was quiet a moment, exhaustion seeping into my bones, but I had to know. "Jake's not stupid. He knew why I was marrying you and he knew I was afraid Victoria would find me and kill me. Does he really believe _she_ was the one who changed me?"

He narrowed his gaze at me, "Never forget that Jacob Black is a werewolf. He is _not_ your friend, not anymore." But his expression softened and he hugged me closer, "He suspects. He has no proof and therefore the pack had no choice but to let it go. For now."

"Did I miss my funeral?" I asked to change the subject. I felt his chest rumble with laughter and I looked up at him, stifling a yawn, "I hope it was short and sweet without much fuss made about my boring life."

"Alice has it on video," Edward grinned, "along with all the news stories about the wedding day tragedy."

I wasn't truly ready to deal with it but I quietly insisted, "I didn't have that goodbye like I'd planned." I felt him shake his head. "Edward, I _need_ to see my parents. I need closure. And so do they."

"You can't tell them the truth."

"I'm not planning to but," I yawned, "I don't know, I'll come up with something."

* * *

My plan went into effect only two days later on the one sunny day Alice had predicted for the next three weeks. And what made it even better was that my mom still was in town so I wouldn't have to go through this twice. Phil had gone back to Jacksonville the day after my funeral to rejoin his team but Renee stuck around for Charlie. 

I looked up at Edward who held my hand as we walked through the woods. "You think we can sneak into my room and take a couple of things I hadn't had the chance to pack before the wedding?"

He brought my hand to his lips for a kiss, "We don't have to sneak. I'm sure, as your devastated husband of a mere few hours, that neither of your parents would deny me a request for a memory."

I squeezed his hand gratefully and lost myself to my thoughts as we continued our trek towards our meadow. Despite the fact that the hike _was_ easier for the new less-klutzy Bella, Edward let me set the slower pace. He knew that, despite it being _my_ plan, one that had been approved by all my new in-laws, even Rosalie, I was still extremely nervous. My parents were hurting badly enough, I hated the thought that this plan might backfire and hurt them even more.

As we approached the clearing, my heightened senses already picked up my parents' presence and I stopped in my tracks.

Edward turned, "Second thoughts?"

"I'm…I wish…"

"Let's go home," he suggested as he tugged me in the direction we'd come.

"I can't," I tugged him back. "I _have_ to see them, talk to them, now while it's still fresh. It's just hard. Listen to them mourning me, questioning their every decision regarding me. I worried them so much, gave them so much grief."

"You gave them so much joy," he corrected with a kiss to my forehead. Then he released my hand and nudged me towards my parents. "Go on. I'll wait for you here."

I smoothed out my sundress and, with a last glance towards Edward, I turned and stepped into the brush from where I now saw my parents standing close together in the center of the clearing.

As I did, I heard Charlie's pained voice, "I should've sent her back with you after she nearly died in Phoenix."

"She didn't want to leave," Renee sighed. "The boy…"

Charlie shook his head, "We never should've allowed her to get so involved. She was too young, he hurt her too badly, over and over. That boy ne--"

"That boy's name is Edward," I quietly reminded them as I revealed myself. "And that boy was my husband for a few beautiful hours," I added as I stepped out into the sun.

Seeing the expressions on their faces reminded me of my reaction to seeing Edward for the first time in sunlight, right here in this meadow. "Mom!" I called out when her legs buckled. But I caught myself in time and didn't dart towards her. My father was there. He quickly moved to support her. "Mom, it's okay."

"I don't understand," Charlie uttered while keeping his arms firmly around Renee. "Bella…you're…this isn't possible."

"Oh, baby," Renee began to cry, "I held you. Even if it was only for just a moment, I held you in my arms. You were gone. Carlisle said you were gone."

"You look like an angel." Charlie's tone held a dazed quality. "You're glowing and sparkling like an angel."

Renee reached out to me and it took all my willpower not to run into her open arms. "I'm happy. I know it sounds crazy but I _am_ happy."

"I miss you, Bells." Charlie's voice was barely above a whisper.

He looked so old, so run down, and my heart ached with concern. "Oh, Dad…I can't even begin to thank the both of you. Please don't ever second-guess yourselves about how I was raised. It may have been unconventional but it worked for us and I can't think of ever having had anyone else for my parents."

"No parent should outlive their child," Renee sobbed into Charlie's chest. "I can't do this. I can't let her go."

"Mom…Dad…I love you both so much but I want you to promise me you won't let yourselves get lost in grief." I waited for them to both focus on me before I continued. "I need you to remember those months after Edward left me last year. Remember what I'd been like, remember how much pain I caused you during the time I took to recover. Don't let that happen to you. Please, _promise_ me that. Promise me you'll turn to your friends for help. Promise me that you'll be there for each other even though you'll be on opposite sides of the country."

Charlie gazed down at Renee and promised for them both. He kissed Renee's forehead and turned back to me. "I love you, Isabella Marie Swann. You couldn't have made me a prouder father if you'd tried."

I knew it was time to leave before I lost it so I blew them both a kiss. "I love you both." I was about to run when I impulsively asked, "One last favor? Be kind to Edward. He may have only had me for two years but he loved me, almost as much as I love him, and he's grieving too. Please don't shut him out if he comes by."

"We won't," Charlie promised in a hoarse voice.

"I love you," Renee stated through her tears. "You're my light and joy, Bella. Always."

"I love you," I told them one last time. "I'll be watching over you." And with those words, I spun from them, leaving them dazed and free to grieve in private.

Edward was waiting for me exactly where I'd left him and I flew into his arms, my newly growing strength throwing him off-balance. "Take me home, Edward," I requested, "please just take me home."

He kissed my forehead. "Everything you said was perfect…except for one thing."

"What?" I asked in surprise.

"It's simply not possible for you to love me more than I love you." And without waiting for my argument, Edward swung me onto his back, kissed my arm that wrapped itself around his neck, and took off in a run towards the new future awaiting us.

_**The End**_


End file.
